In this life there are many things to prepare for, but the most important is for our entrance into the kingdom of heaven. I will take you with me, should you want to come along, on my personal journey to the door which will lead to eternity, through which every soul must pass. Where the angel of death waits to ask the all important question, "Are you prepared for the Kingdom?"

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Location: Anacortes, Washington, United States

Two years ago I was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. I was one of the fortunate ones who survived surgery along with chemo/radiation treatments. Recently, it was discovered that the cancer had returned and although I am again on chemotherapy, in all probability I have perhaps one more year to live. During these last months I would like to share what I have learned about the most important thing we'll ever do in this life and that is, prepare for the kingdom of God.

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Blessed Be Your Name

Two years ago, after undergoing some intense cancer fighting treatment, I spent most of the time either lying in my bed or lying downstairs on the couch watching my son play mindless video games. Since I had very little mental capacity for comprehending what was going on around me, these games served as good distractions from my then horrible condition.

Since I couldn’t sleep well at night, we would stay up watching television until midnight or so watching endless programs on the Food Channel. I should explain that at that time I was unable to eat. It was everything I could do to drink water. Chemotherapy kills cancer cells as well as many other cells, so consequently I had no sense of taste, since the cells in my mouth were dead. Any food I would try to eat tasted like dirt. Imagine putting something in your mouth and feeling only the texture of it. That’s what it was like. So I would watch food programs and pray that I would someday be able to taste food again.

Then one day a strange thing happened to me. I had been off treatment for about a month and I started to taste a little again. It took about another month or so, but my taste buds returned and now they were enhanced so that everything I ate tasted so much better than I could ever remember.

So why am I talking about this? Well, I guess this is what my life with God is all about. My soul, like the cells in my mouth, was dead. I had killed it by consuming the deadly poison of my own self-destructive ways. But once I realized that I didn’t have to keep taking that poison and stopped, it wasn’t too long before I started to experience a new and enhanced life. Everything was and is so much better now. God has made everything new.So much so that even in the face of death, I can rejoice in his love.

There’s a song by Matt Redman called “Blessed Be Your Name” taken from Job 1:21. May God grant me the grace to sing these words when my darkness closes in.

Blessed be Your name in the land that is plentiful
Where Your streams of abundance flow
Blessed be Your name

Blessed be Your name when I'm found in the desert place
Though I walk through the wilderness
Blessed be Your name

Blessed be Your name when the sun’s shining down on me
When the world’s “all as it should be”
Blessed be Your name

Blessed be Your name on the road marked with suffering
Though there’s pain in the offering
Blessed be Your name

Every blessing You pour out I’ll turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in, Lord still I will say

Blessed be the name of the Lord; Blessed be Your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord; Blessed be Your glorious name

You give and take away
You give and take away
My heart will choose to say
Lord, blessed be Your name


Blogger forget me not said...

I just want you to know that every post you write has a deep effect on me. I don't usually leave comments because I simply cannot express what I feel, and maybe that's not so important anyway. I just want you to know I am praying for you, hoping you have more good days than bad. *hugs*

6:19 AM  
Blogger Michael said...

Your insights mean alot to me--I spend quite a bit of time thinking about what you have experienced and write about. I thank you for sharing them.
May your heart's desire be with Him yet more from your sojurn at Mt. Tabor.

Michaelk Borussia

1:46 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Beautiful, thoughtful sharing.

4:30 PM  
Blogger strazman said...


Dear Laura,

You are a gift of God. After reading "Blessed be Your Name" I thought of how that same song rushed in upon me at moments this year, sometimes literally. It is a blessing to be able to share these spiritual journeys with others whose way seems much more difficult than our own, I mean yours seems much more than mine, for instance.
Give your sons big hugs, and thank the Good Lord for bringing them into your life.

9:51 PM  

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